Vow renewals aren’t just for couples celebrating their golden anniversary anymore. They’ve become a meaningful way for couples at any stage of marriage to recommit, celebrate milestones, or simply throw the party they never had the first time around.
Whether you’re marking a decade together, overcoming challenges, or just want an excuse to wear white again, planning a vow renewal is both simpler and more complex than your original wedding.
Here’s everything you need to know.
Timing Your Vow Renewal
Traditional milestone anniversaries like the 10th, 25th, or 50th are popular choices, but there’s no rule book here. You could renew your vows after two years or twenty-two—whatever feels right for your relationship.
Consider the season and your personal calendar. If you’re planning something elaborate, give yourself at least six months to organize everything without stress.
Some couples prefer dates that hold special meaning beyond their original anniversary. Perhaps the date you first met, moved in together, or overcame a particular challenge as a couple.
Avoid scheduling during particularly busy times for your family and friends if you want maximum attendance. Holiday weekends can be tricky—some people love the long weekend, others have standing family obligations.
Setting Your Budget and Style
Vow renewals can range from intimate backyard gatherings to elaborate destination celebrations. The beauty is that you have complete freedom to spend as little or as much as feels comfortable.
Since you’re not combining households or starting your adult life together, many couples have more disposable income than they did for their first wedding. This can be liberating—or dangerous if you’re not careful.
| Budget Range | Typical Elements | Guest Count |
|---|---|---|
| Under $1,000 | Backyard/home ceremony, potluck reception | 10-25 guests |
| $1,000-$5,000 | Restaurant private room, simple flowers | 25-50 guests |
| $5,000-$15,000 | Venue rental, catering, photography | 50-100 guests |
| $15,000+ | Full wedding-style celebration | 100+ guests |
Think about what you missed the first time around or what you’d do differently. Maybe you want the big party you couldn’t afford, or perhaps you’re craving something more intimate than your original 200-person celebration.
Choosing Your Venue and Atmosphere
Your venue sets the entire tone for the day. Home-based celebrations feel warm and personal, especially if you’ve created a beautiful space together over the years.
Consider locations that hold meaning for your relationship. The park where you had your first date, the beach where you honeymooned, or even the restaurant where you had your first anniversary dinner.
Destination renewals are increasingly popular, especially for couples whose children are grown. A long weekend in wine country or a tropical resort can combine celebration with vacation.
Traditional wedding venues work too, but many couples prefer something more unique the second time around. Art galleries, historic homes, or even family farms can provide memorable backdrops.
Writing Your New Vows
This is often the most meaningful part of the entire process. Unlike your original vows, which were full of hopes and promises, renewal vows can reflect on what you’ve actually experienced together.
You have the luxury of specificity now. You can reference shared jokes, overcome challenges, and the ways you’ve grown together. These vows tend to be more personal and often more emotional than original wedding vows.
Some couples write entirely new vows, while others prefer to repeat their originals and add new promises. There’s something moving about hearing how your perspective on those original words has deepened over time.
Don’t feel pressured to be overly serious. If humor is part of your relationship dynamic, let it show. Acknowledging the reality of marriage—including the less glamorous parts—can make your vows more authentic and relatable.
Guest List Considerations
Your guest list might look quite different from your original wedding. Some friends may have drifted away, while others have become closer. Extended family dynamics may have shifted over the years.
Children often play a bigger role in vow renewals. If you have kids together, they might serve as wedding party members or even officiate the ceremony.
Adult children from previous relationships sometimes feel more included in renewals than they did in original weddings.
Consider whether to invite people who attended your first wedding, new friends who’ve entered your life since, or a combination of both. Some couples use renewals as an opportunity to celebrate with people who couldn’t attend the original ceremony.
Keep in mind that renewal etiquette is more relaxed. People generally don’t expect elaborate invitations or feel obligated to bring gifts, which can take pressure off both you and your guests.
Ceremony Structure and Traditions
Vow renewal ceremonies are beautifully flexible since they’re not legally binding. You can include religious elements, cultural traditions, or create something entirely your own.
Many couples choose to have a friend or family member officiate rather than hiring a professional. This adds intimacy and often results in more personalized ceremonies that reflect your relationship’s unique story.
The processional can be whatever feels right. Some couples walk in together, others prefer the traditional separate entrances. If you have children, they might escort you or participate in the ceremony itself.
Unity ceremonies like candle lighting or sand mixing work well in renewals, especially if you include children or blended family elements. These symbolic acts can represent not just your union, but your family’s growth over time.
Attire and Styling Choices
Fashion rules are completely out the window for vow renewals. White is fine if you want it, but so is any other color that makes you feel fabulous.
Many women choose cocktail dresses or elegant separates instead of traditional gowns. Others go full bridal again because they love the experience. Your body, your choice, your celebration.
Men have similar freedom. A nice suit works perfectly, but so does a tuxedo if the occasion calls for it. Some couples coordinate their outfits more intentionally than they did the first time around.
Consider your venue and season when making attire decisions. A flowing maxi dress might be perfect for a beach renewal but impractical for a winter garden party.
Photography and Memory Making
Professional photography becomes even more meaningful for renewals because you understand the value of having beautiful images to look back on. You’ve probably learned from your first wedding what shots matter most to you.
Many couples hire photographers for shorter periods than traditional weddings—perhaps just ceremony and cocktail hour rather than the entire day. This can be a good compromise between budget and professional documentation.
Consider creating a photo display showing your journey from the original wedding to now. These timeline displays are popular at renewals and help tell your story to guests.
Don’t forget about videography if it’s important to you. Hearing your renewed vows years later can be incredibly moving, especially if you include interviews with family members about your relationship.
Reception Planning and Entertainment
Receptions for vow renewals tend to be more relaxed than traditional wedding receptions. Dancing might be less important if your crowd is older, while good conversation and great food take priority.
Consider a cocktail party format instead of a seated dinner. This encourages mingling and creates a more casual atmosphere that many couples prefer for renewals.
Live music can be wonderful, but it doesn’t have to be a full band. A jazz trio, acoustic duo, or even a great playlist can set the perfect mood for your celebration.
Think about activities that reflect your personality as a couple. Wine tasting, lawn games, or even a group cooking class can make your renewal memorable and unique.
Making It Meaningful for Everyone
Include elements that acknowledge the journey you’ve taken together. A moment of silence for loved ones who’ve passed since your wedding, or recognition of the friends and family who’ve supported you over the years.
Consider having guests share brief stories or memories instead of traditional toasts. This can be more engaging and personal than lengthy speeches from the wedding party.
Create opportunities for different generations to connect. If you have grandchildren now who weren’t at your original wedding, make sure they feel included and special.
Some couples use renewals to give back, incorporating charitable elements or asking guests to donate to meaningful causes instead of bringing gifts.
Celebrating Your Love Story
Your vow renewal is ultimately about celebrating the real, lived-in love you’ve built together. It’s messier and more complex than the hopeful promises you made at your first wedding, but it’s also deeper and more tested.
Don’t worry about perfection—you’ve hopefully learned by now that the best celebrations are about connection, not flawless execution. Focus on what matters most to you as a couple and let everything else fall into place.
The most beautiful vow renewals feel authentic to the couple celebrating. Whether that’s an elegant dinner party or a backyard barbecue with kids running around, make it yours.