Getting engaged feels magical until reality hits: you actually have to plan this thing.
Don’t panic—every couple who’s made it down the aisle started exactly where you are now, staring at an overwhelming blank slate and wondering where on earth to begin.
Set Your Budget Before You Fall in Love with Anything
Money talk isn’t romantic, but neither is fighting about finances for the next year. Sit down with your partner and figure out what you can realistically spend without going into debt or raiding your house fund.
Include contributions from family members in this conversation, but be crystal clear about expectations.
If your parents are contributing, they might expect a say in decisions—decide now whether you’re comfortable with that dynamic or if you’d rather maintain full control by funding it yourselves.
Write down your total budget and stick it somewhere visible. You’ll thank yourself later when you’re swooning over a $5,000 dress and your budget says $1,500.
Choose Your Date and Venue Together
These two decisions are joined at the hip—your dream venue might be booked solid for the next eighteen months, or only available on random Tuesdays. Start by making a list of potential venues that fit your style and budget.
Visit venues with an open mind. That barn you thought would be perfect might feel cramped with your guest count, while the hotel ballroom you initially dismissed could surprise you with its charm and convenience.
Book as far in advance as possible, especially for popular dates. Saturday evenings in peak wedding season (May through October) get snapped up quickly, but you might find better deals and availability on Friday evenings or Sunday afternoons.
Create Your Guest List Reality Check
Start with your absolute must-haves—immediate family and closest friends who’d be genuinely hurt not to be there. This core group helps you determine your minimum venue size and gives you a baseline budget for catering.
Expand from there, but be ruthless. Your college roommate’s cousin who you haven’t spoken to in five years doesn’t need an invitation, no matter how much your aunt insists family friends are “practically family.”
Consider doing separate counts for different scenarios. Maybe you can afford 100 guests for dinner but 150 for cake and dancing—this gives you flexibility in your planning and budgeting.
Hire Your Key Vendors Early
Certain vendors book up fastest, and they’re often the ones that make or break your day. Your photographer, caterer, and band or DJ should be your first priorities after securing your venue.
Research vendors thoroughly and meet them in person or via video call. You’ll be working closely with these people on one of your most important days—personality fit matters as much as their portfolio.
Get everything in writing. Verbal agreements and handshake deals have a way of getting fuzzy when money and emotions are involved.
Pick Your Wedding Party Strategically
Choose people who will actually support you through the planning process, not just look good in photos. Your wedding party should be your emotional support team, not an additional source of stress.
Keep the numbers manageable. A wedding party of twelve might look impressive, but coordinating that many schedules for dress shopping, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and rehearsals becomes a logistical nightmare.
Be upfront about expectations and costs. Let your wedding party know what they’ll be responsible for financially—dress, suit rental, travel, parties—so they can budget accordingly.
Register for Gifts That Actually Matter
Skip the fancy china you’ll use twice a year and focus on items that will improve your daily life together. Quality cookware, comfortable bedding, and practical home goods serve you better than crystal champagne flutes.
Register at multiple price points so guests with different budgets can find something meaningful to give. Include a few splurge items that you’d never buy for yourselves—someone might surprise you.
Consider cash funds for experiences or big-ticket items like your honeymoon or down payment. Many couples find these more useful than traditional registry items.
Plan Your Ceremony Details
Decide whether you want a religious ceremony, civil ceremony, or something completely personalized. This affects your venue options and timeline, so nail it down early.
Think about what elements matter most to you both. Maybe you want traditional vows, or perhaps you’d rather write your own. Some couples love unity ceremonies, while others find them cheesy—there’s no right answer except what feels authentic to you.
Consider your guests’ comfort during the ceremony. Outdoor ceremonies in July might sound romantic until your grandmother faints from heat stroke, and winter ceremonies require backup plans for weather.
Sort Out the Legal Requirements
Research marriage license requirements in your state or country well before your wedding date. Some places have waiting periods, others require blood tests, and requirements can vary significantly by location.
Make sure you understand the timeline. Some marriage licenses expire if not used within a certain timeframe, while others can be obtained months in advance.
Decide who will officiate and ensure they’re legally authorized to perform marriages in your location. Having a friend get ordained online is sweet, but make sure they follow all legal requirements to avoid complications later.
Design Your Day’s Timeline
Work backward from your ideal end time to create a realistic schedule. If you want to be dancing by 8 PM, you need to account for ceremony time, cocktail hour, dinner service, and speeches.
Build in buffer time for everything. Photos always take longer than expected, and someone’s always running late. A rushed timeline creates stress for everyone involved.
Communicate the timeline clearly to your vendors and wedding party. Everyone needs to know when they’re expected where, and what their responsibilities are throughout the day.
Start Planning Your Honeymoon
Book your honeymoon early, especially if you’re traveling during peak season or to popular destinations. Many couples put this off until the last minute and end up stressed or disappointed with limited options.
Consider your energy levels immediately after the wedding. Some couples want adventure and activities, while others prefer relaxation and room service. Both are valid—choose what sounds appealing to you as a newly married couple.
Budget for your honeymoon as part of your overall wedding expenses. It’s easy to spend everything on the wedding day and realize you’ve got nothing left for the trip you’ve been dreaming about.
Your Planning Journey Starts Here
These ten steps give you a solid foundation, but remember that wedding planning is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself, communicate openly with your partner, and don’t let perfectionism steal your joy.
Some decisions will feel overwhelming, and that’s completely normal. Every engaged couple questions their choices at some point—it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
Trust your instincts, stick to your budget, and focus on what truly matters: celebrating your love with the people who matter most. Everything else is just details, and details can be figured out along the way.