Being chosen as best man is both an honor and a responsibility that goes far beyond standing at the altar looking sharp.
You’re about to become the groom’s right-hand man, chief problem-solver, and occasionally his voice of reason during one of the most important times in his life.
1. Plan and Execute the Bachelor Party
The bachelor party is your signature event as best man, and it’s where your organizational skills really shine. Start planning at least two months ahead, checking with the groom about his preferences, budget, and any activities that are absolutely off-limits.
Consider the guest list carefully—not everyone invited to the wedding needs to be at the bachelor party. Focus on the groom’s closest friends and family members who’ll genuinely contribute to a good time.
Some groups work better with a wild weekend in Vegas, while others prefer a low-key day of golf and dinner.
Budget conversations can get awkward, but they’re essential. Be upfront about costs and collect money in advance to avoid the dreaded “splitting the check” moment when someone conveniently forgets their wallet.
A simple group text or payment app makes this much smoother.
2. Organize the Groomsmen
Herding groomsmen is like managing a group of well-dressed cats—everyone has opinions, schedules conflict, and someone always waits until the last minute. Your job is to be the central communication hub and keep everyone on track.
Create a group chat early and use it strategically. Share important dates, fitting appointments, and travel information, but don’t let it become a endless stream of memes and inside jokes that bury crucial details.
Tuxedo fittings require particular attention to detail. Make sure everyone knows where to go, when to be there, and what the backup plan is if someone can’t make the scheduled appointment.
Keep the groom’s phone number for the rental company handy—you’ll probably need it.
3. Support the Groom Emotionally
Wedding planning can turn even the most laid-back guy into a bundle of nerves, and you’re his primary emotional support system. Sometimes this means listening to him vent about seating charts, other times it’s talking him down from cold feet.
Be prepared for phone calls at odd hours and conversations that circle back to the same concerns repeatedly.
Your role isn’t to solve every problem, but to remind him why he’s getting married in the first place and that most wedding day hiccups are quickly forgotten.
Know when to offer advice and when to just listen. If he’s stressed about his future mother-in-law’s opinions on the centerpieces, he probably doesn’t need solutions—he needs someone to acknowledge that wedding planning can be overwhelming.
4. Handle Wedding Day Logistics
Wedding day logistics fall heavily on your shoulders, from getting the groom ready to coordinating with vendors. Start the day with a solid timeline and contact list, but stay flexible because something will inevitably run behind schedule.
Your morning responsibilities include making sure the groom eats something, stays hydrated, and gets dressed without major wardrobe malfunctions. Pack a small emergency kit with stain remover, safety pins, and breath mints—trust me on this one.
Communication with the wedding planner or coordinator is crucial. Be the point person for any groomsmen questions or issues so the groom can focus on staying calm and enjoying his day.
5. Deliver a Memorable Speech
The best man speech is your moment to shine, and it requires more preparation than most people realize. Start writing at least a month before the wedding, and practice it out loud multiple times to get the timing and delivery right.
Structure your speech with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Open with how you know the groom, share a meaningful story or two about your friendship, talk about how he’s changed since meeting his partner, and close with heartfelt wishes for their future together.
Avoid embarrassing stories that involve ex-girlfriends, illegal activities, or anything you wouldn’t want your grandmother to hear. The goal is to honor your friendship while celebrating the couple, not to get laughs at their expense.
6. Manage the Wedding Rings
Ring duty is simple in theory but nerve-wracking in practice because losing the wedding rings would be an unforgivable disaster. Keep them in a secure pocket with a zipper or button, and do a periodic “ring check” throughout the day.
Some couples use fake rings for the ceremony and keep the real ones safely stored until the reception. Don’t take this personally—it’s just practical insurance against the worst-case scenario.
During the ceremony, stay alert for your cue to hand over the rings. Practice this moment during the rehearsal so you’re not fumbling around when all eyes are on you.
7. Coordinate with Other Wedding Party Members
You’re the unofficial leader of the groomsmen, which means managing personalities, schedules, and occasionally mediating minor conflicts. Some guys will be super involved and helpful, others will need constant reminders about basic responsibilities.
Work closely with the maid of honor to coordinate group photos, transportation, and timing. She’s dealing with similar challenges on the bride’s side, and you can help each other stay organized.
Don’t try to be everyone’s best friend—focus on being reliable and keeping things moving smoothly. Someone might grumble about the early morning photo session, but that’s not your problem to solve.
8. Handle Financial Responsibilities
Money matters can get complicated quickly, from collecting funds for group gifts to covering unexpected expenses. Be transparent about costs and keep detailed records of who paid for what.
The groomsmen typically chip in for a group gift to the couple, and coordinating this purchase falls to you. Start this conversation early to avoid last-minute scrambling or awkward conversations about budget differences.
Keep receipts for shared expenses and use a payment app to make splitting costs easier. Don’t front money for people unless you’re prepared to potentially eat the cost if they don’t pay you back.
9. Assist with Pre-Wedding Events
Your involvement extends beyond the bachelor party to include engagement parties, rehearsal dinners, and other pre-wedding celebrations. You don’t need to plan all of these events, but you should be present and helpful when possible.
The rehearsal dinner is particularly important because it’s your chance to practice the ceremony logistics and connect with family members you might not know well. Pay attention during the rehearsal—it’s not just a formality.
Use these events to check in with the groom and handle any last-minute concerns or questions. Sometimes issues come up that are easier to address before the wedding day chaos begins.
10. Provide Day-of Emergency Support
Wedding days rarely go exactly according to plan, and you’re the primary problem-solver for issues that arise. This might mean finding a pharmacy for forgotten medication, dealing with vendor problems, or managing family drama.
Stay calm under pressure and think creatively about solutions. Most wedding day “emergencies” aren’t actually emergencies—they’re just stressful moments that need quick thinking and decisive action.
Keep the groom insulated from minor problems that don’t require his input. He doesn’t need to know that the flowers arrived an hour late if they made it in time for photos.
The Real Reward
Being a best man is exhausting, occasionally stressful, and always more work than you initially expected. But watching your friend marry the person he loves, knowing you helped make their day special, makes all the planning and coordination worthwhile.
The role doesn’t end when the reception is over—you’ll probably have stories from this experience that you’ll be telling for decades.
And someday, when it’s your turn to get married, you’ll have a friend who understands exactly what you’re going through and will return the favor.